Shirley & David

“When Zoë suggested I interview my grandparents for Valentine’s Day I jumped at the chance to capture their love story. Growing up with my Popo and Gonggong (grandmother and grandfather in Cantonese), I’ve always admired the love and care they have for each other and our family.” 
- Carly

Tell us about how you both first met.

Shirley: The Chinese community in Auckland in the 1950s was very small! Our families already knew each other. My father used to run Wah Lee’s grocery store on Hobson Street, and David’s father was the Reverend of the Auckland Chinese Presbyterian Church. They used to travel around and visit all the Chinese families. 

In 1955, I invited all the young Chinese people in the area to my 21st birthday party, so David actually came to my party.

David: We didn’t click then!
 
S: No, we didn’t! But the next year I came across David again, I was working as a nurse in the women’s ward at the Auckland City Hospital. David was in hospital having his appendix out. The cleaning lady told me “There is a Chinese boy in the men’s ward that’s having an operation”. 
I liked to visit all the Chinese patients to say hello and keep them company so I went to visit him that day!
After David went home, on my day off I took the tram and went to his house to see how his recovery was.

D: After my operation, I couldn’t go back to work. My friend invited me on a fishing trip, coincidentally with Shirley’s father. When we came back a week later we met again and not long after that, we started to date. 

I had a motorbike at the time, so we used to go out together on the bike all the time. And then we were stuck! 

How long have you been married? What is the secret to your long-lasting relationship?

S. We got married by the end of that year, December 1956. I was 22 and David was 23. 
I don’t think we have a secret! We’re still enjoying each other's company. We just knew we wanted to be together. Sometimes you’re not sure about someone, but we just knew. 

When we got married I think we were the poorest young couple in Auckland! I was only earning £5 a week as a nurse. We didn’t have much money but we were happy. 
David worked very long hours to help raise our 4 children.

In our marriage we talked things over - we asked ourselves ‘How can we make this work?’ and ‘How can we support each other?’.
We chose to work together and make a plan together. We chose each other. 

You can have money and possessions, but if you haven’t got feelings for each other it doesn't mean anything. 

You’ve fostered such a beautiful family dynamic - what is the secret to keeping this family spirit strong?

D: The only time I was away from home was when I went on a trout fishing trip to Taupo. I tried to stay home as much as possible as I worked so much. We always had a car so we used to take trips a lot. 

Before my father passed away, birthdays and special occasions were always at his house. Afterwards, all the family celebrations were held at our house. Now we like to have family dinners and ‘takeaway nights’.

S: Our wish is that our family is healthy and happy. We do our best to look after our family. We try to provide a safe environment for everyone to come to our house. 

David, Carly & Shirley, 1992.

At home today.